What to do, what to do...

For some odd reason, as I sit here, watching King of the Hill [Hank just told Bill, "your bat cave's open there, Bill" - absolutely hilarious], I can't help but consider that I want to start studying for my USMLE Step 1 examination.

All the science and clinical material covered during the first two years of medical school are tested on this beast of an exam. Apparently, it literally determines whether or not you're going to be getting a good spot in residency.

And as important as that is, I don't believe that's the reason I want to jump in to it already. I'm really just interested in the material itself; if you know me personally, you know that's the truth, haha.

The only thing I can foresee putting a damper on these plans is that I've got Volumes 1 and 2 from the American Chesteron Society's collection of G.K. Chesteron's works coming in during the next few weeks, so I'm probably going to be spending a lot of time mulling over that brilliant man's words.

We'll see.

Forgive me; some of these posts are going to be pretty mundane. I'm coming to the end of Christmas break, and I'm bored out of my mind. As it would turn out, World of Warcraft - which I decided to re-subscribe to during the break - didn't distract me long enough; because of that, you will be subjected to posts such as this.

Why a physician?

I used to ask myself this very question more often than I'd like to admit.

When I started college - heck, even toward the end of high school - most people knew exactly what they wanted to do and where they wanted to go. They seemed driven to pursue something that they weren't quite sure of.

Now, I was sure I wanted to pursue something in science, and without a doubt, science has been the most interesting thing to me since the time I was a child. In high school, I had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful chemistry teacher who really inspired in me a love for the chemical sciences. In a time where I wasn't the greatest student, she believed I was capable of doing something more with myself.

And a few years later, here I am about to graduate from college with a degree in chemistry. I'm pretty good with chemistry, too; my education has given me real critical thinking skills, and in the words of my physical chemistry professor, I've really learned to, "question everything." When it comes to science and a great many other things [philosophy, religion, etc.], care should be taken to not willingly lap everything up that comes our way.

Words to live by.

But science is not the main focus of my life, nor should it be the main focus of any body's. Science is certainly a great tool and tools have an intended purpose, but it is not everything. On its own, it does not take in to account the depth and wonder of life; it cannot quantify or understand some of the simplest things.

Thus, placing science above all things leads to a very superficial and shallow understanding of life, no matter how much scientific knowledge is accumulated over the passage of time.

What this brings me to is the reason I've chosen to be a physician. As I said before, science is a tool; it allows us to predict things based on knowledge of the universe. It gives us the next best thing to certainty [though not certainty itself], and it can be used to accomplish great things.

As time progressed, I came to realize that when science can be used to guard and preserve life - which is the primary good of all existence - then it has achieved one of its primary purposes. One doesn't need to be a philosopher to understand this; we are dependent on life. Common sense dictates that everything we do - breathing, loving, fighting, hurting, thinking, understanding, and everything else - is oriented toward life in some fashion.

Even our science, prior to being taken over by "silly thinkers" of the late-19th and early-20th centuries, had a part in understanding life. Yet science does not adequately describe life in its totality, nor can it ever hope to.

It's a wonderful thing, and it is the underlying reason as to why I wish to be a physician.

The other part of life is something that can't quite be described on its own. It deals with thoughts associated very "non-sciencey" things; even science, in all its veracity, can't quantitatively nor qualitatively describe the pain of a lost loved one nor the joy of a new born child. Yet it deals with something more than that, too. Tentatively, I will call it "humanity, rightly ordered".

Medicine, I believe, meets these two aspects somewhere in the middle, where life itself resides. It is not cold and calculating like science is by itself, but it takes in to account the orderedness of existence. Similarly, it appreciates the goodness of humanity, and takes in to account the certain mystery associated with it. As a physician, you see life and death, hope and despair; you bear witness to the gambit of life's trials. As a physician, science achieves one of its purposes in that it is used to promote and guard life.

Thus life is my reason for pursuing medicine. To understand it more thoroughly, to appreciate it more deeply; to heal the sick, to show compassion to those who can't afford care, and to serve others. It is where, I believe, God has called me to connect more deeply to the mystery of human life; I believe it will teach me humility and responsibility, and will help me to do Christ's work in my own capacity.

I know being a physician is difficult, probably so much so that I don't know. Yet what I will be doing for others is more than enough compensation for the difficulty I will endure.

The First

I've begun this blog with one thing in mind: to chronicle my experiences leading up to, and during, medical school.

I would lie and say this is a New Year's resolution, but it's not; rather, this blog is something I decided to do to chronicle my growth as a person. Some day, I wish to look back and see how far I've come.

I've written in previous blogs. You may have read my other ones, and were probably annoyed by them - never fear, I plan to continue this long-standing tradition. Everything you will be bombarded with will be influenced by my religion.

I am a practicing Roman Catholic. I believe that life is sacred from conception to natural death, and I consciously submit to the Church's teachings by the best of my ability and the grace of God. My faith is not opposed to reason, and if you disagree, I kindly wish to say that you're misinformed about my faith. Now, not all my posts will be religious discussions; but recognize that it will very much influence the way I reflect on things.

Currently, I've been accepted to one medical school in the great state of Texas. In the coming months, I'll discuss where I'll be heading. Once I'm there, prepare to read of me A) stressing out, being B) ridiculously excited about all the new things I'm learning, or C) both.

In my undergraduate education, I've taken courses in philosophy of religion and morality, as well as medical bioethics. I'm a fan of G.K. Chesterton and Scott Hahn, am an amateur lay apologist, and I'm also a terrible nut for biochemistry and physiology.

Please, come back soon. I'll update whenever I've got some free time; I'm shooting for at least once a week. God bless you in all your endeavors.